India, my belle, you are the ugliest. I love the fragrance of your one thousand condiments and I am disgusted by the stink of your streets. Your colours and faces of your people are so flattering while my eyes are appalled about your spectecular nasty visage. Tasting you, tasting what your grounds and cuisine has to offer was an amusement I vomited when I saw your chefs. I listened to your unfailing wisdom that may made a better me and I heard your slogans that may make an inferior you. The twenty-first century will likely be an Indian century – if you, India, choose the right modi.